why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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