So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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