also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
