I didn't shave. On purpose
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize