oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
