Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
