I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize