Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Actions speak louder than pants.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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