I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize