i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
