dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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