Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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