Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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