do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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