I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
this hospital has no fireball
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
