After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
