so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
