Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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