New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
