My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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