I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
