plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize