Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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