if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
And then he peed in my hair
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