This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
