dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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