Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
