Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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