sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
