Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
