Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
