Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
