In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My vagina is very pro this idea
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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