Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
