ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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