i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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