How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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