I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
