I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
