What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
