I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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