you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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