I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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