Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
