come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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