dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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