I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
