god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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