The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
