Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
