Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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