you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
