uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
