i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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