Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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