That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize