I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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