So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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