can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
