Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
