Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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