i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
