For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
