I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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