hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
