So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
