do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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