How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
